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Friday, 4 October 2013

Official BBC Doctor Who Monster Vote (Hijacked for a Top Ten List of Obscure Monstrum)

It's an online poll, but with a twist: the BBC website is going to ask people what their favourite DW monster of all time is, then they'll announce the results on real proper telly.  Or at least BBC Three, as part of a "Doctor Who: Ultimate Monsters and Villains Weekend" in November.

Unfortunately, there's only going to be ten given candidates for the job of best monster, no more (and let's face it, how are the Daleks not going to pull off an easy win for a question like this?). And since the press release referenced Daleks, Cybermen, Weeping Angels, and would hardly have phrased it "Villains" if the Master wasn't going to appear on the list, that's four obvious candidates right there. Not to mention that the Sontarans, Silurians, and the Great Intelligence are obvious Moffat-era shoo-ins, and perhaps even the Ice Warriors with their recent appearance. Chuck in the Zygons as stars of the Anniversary Special, perhaps the Autons for their appearances on both iterations of the show and that's your ten right there. All a bit distressingly obvious.
(Update: So the BBC poll was less obvious than we predicted. The big four were on the list, naturally, and we were right about the Ice Warriors and the Silurians, but the rest were New Who villains; apparently they were going for five classic series villains and five from the Welsh series. Even though, as the write-up for the Ood correctly states, they don't really belong on a list of villains at all. The others were the Silence, Judoon, and the Clockwork Droids. Will anyone out there vote for the Clockwork Droids? Anyone at all? )

So here's something completely different.

Beep the Meep

All right, so the DWM comic strips had other original monsters (honourable mention to Shayde, natch), but the adorable Tribble-esque fuzzball with a bent for galactic domination and extremely villainous villainy is one of the most memorable of the lot. Steve Lyons' adaptation of the character for audio, in "The Ratings War", is one of the funniest things that the man's ever written. Fur being a little tricky to animate on screen, he'd probably be an animatronic prop, which would lend authenticity to the Christmas toy releases. You know there would be Christmas toys.

(Source: "Doctor Who and the Star Beast", which also gave the Doctor a POC companion. Sharon, quite simply, rocks.)

Chelonians

They've been namechecked on telly, they were the first original race of monsters to be created for the Virgin books line, their name is a joke about the scientific name for the order of turtles...and besides, if they were to return Gareth Roberts would have to write another episode for the show. Which is always good.

(Source: "The Pandorica Opens", various comics, innumerable Gareth Roberts novels, including both his and their first book "The Highest Science".)

Drahvins

With the semi-recent rediscovery of episode three of "Galaxy Four", they're still semi-topical. And why would Steven Moffat pass up the chance to portray a race of villainous yet beautiful women? Besides, it's a two-fer, as you'd hardly bring them back without Chumblies, and Chumblies are fabulous. Through-the-looking-glass Daleks, they are. Speaking of which...

(Source: "Galaxy Four". And it wouldn't be right to mention Serial T without including a link to "Chumblie at Rest", it just wouldn't.)


Dustbins

We refer you to Charles Daniels' "Alternative Programme Guide" for more information on the doings of the little beasties, featuring such classics as "The Dustbins", "Genesis of the Dustbins", and "Rememberin' to Take Out the Dustbins". Because there's nothing quite like being cleaned to death by a race of beings who just want to make the universe very, very tidy.

(Source: Charles Daniels. With a dollop of inspiration from the original "Discontinuity Guide".)

Jegg-Sau Robot

Because if Bernice Summerfield can borrow a monster from a 70s Doctor Who jigsaw puzzle, then DW has the right to borrow them back again. And what's not to like about robots who try to cook you dinner and may then unexpectedly turn on you in a mad rampage of terror before growing to enormous sizes for no readily apparent reason?

(Source: "Robot", via "The Relics of Jegg-Sau", a Stephen Cole Bernice Summerfield Big Finish audio. Here's one of Doc Oho's ever-methodical reviews if you really want to know more.)

Man-Eater of Surrey Green

Look, the Avengers story is practically a prequel to "The Seeds of Doom" as it stands. Except with a better ending. And a better-looking greenhouse. And better fight scenes...basically, if it was done yet again now it might be possible to pull off something that uses the killer plant idea on DW with more money and thought than was possible the first time. As the other candidate for this position is "Terror of the Vervoids", it really shouldn't be that difficult.

(Source: Robert Banks Stewart, using the same killer plant idea from his old show. They were a bit rushed for time that week.)

N-Form

Ancient Gallifreyan superweapon and as close to an alien villain as you get in RTD's first and only DW novel, Damaged Goods. All those fans who were fascinated by the Tenth Doctor's references to the Neverweres and the Nightmare Child might like to know more about Davies' ability to conceptualise Time War weaponry, since he did put some thought into it back in the day (mind, in context of the novel it was for fighting off Vampires rather than Daleks, but the principle stands). Of course, this seemed even less likely to happen than anything else on this list after Davies left, but given the Capaldi fan fiction you can't be too absolute about anything these days.

(Source: "Damaged Goods". Which you can read about here, funnily enough.)

Shalka

With DW continuity already at the mercy of one major universal reboot, random Silence running amuck, and the Time War, we might as well muddle it up a little more. The reappearance of a monster whose only appearance has been a 2003 webcast would have everyone sorting out the continuity repercussions for ages. And Paul Cornell would have to be writing such a story: see above comments about Gareth Roberts.

(Source: "Scream of the Shalka". )

Vega Nexos

Listed here largely to encourage more in the way of DW Weetabix card crossovers. Why hasn't BBC Worldwide thought of bringing back this obvious marketing ploy yet?

 (Source: "The Monster of Peladon". And page 447 of About Time 3B. Which comes very highly recommended indeed, but then I would say that.)

Yartek, Leader of the Alien Voord

C'mon, you all knew this was coming.

(Source: "The Keys of Marinus".)

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